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Success Without Structure: Some of Us Aren’t Built for RoutinesBlowing up your alarm clock is the first step in joining the Routine Resistance!Resist the Routine!

For years, I believed in the power of routine. Not just believed — I worshiped it. I saw routine as the secret weapon of the successful, the master key to unlocking productivity, the one thing separating those who achieve their dreams from those who don’t.

And why wouldn’t I?

Everywhere we look, we’re bombarded with stories of high achievers who swear by their morning routines, evening routines, and sacred habits that supposedly make them superhuman.

You know the drill:

Wake up at 4 AM.Meditate for 20 minutes.Journal your deepest thoughts.Write for an hour.Go to the gym.Cold shower.Protein shake.Be an unstoppable, ultra-optimized machine before the rest of the world even rolls out of bed.

We’re told that this is how greatness happens. AND, if you can just stick to the routine, success is inevitable.

And I believed it.

So I tried. Over and over again, I tried.

And I failed.

No matter how many times I started, no matter how badly I wanted to be one of those hyper-disciplined, perfectly structured people� I could never sustain a routine for long.

And every time I failed, I told myself the same story:

“I’m just not disciplined enough.�
“I don’t want it badly enough.�
“I’m lazy.�
“I’ll never achieve my full potential.�

Sound familiar?

But here’s the truth — the thing no one tells you when they’re selling you the routine myth:

Some of us aren’t built for routines.

And forcing yourself into one won’t unlock your potential. It’ll just burn you out.

The 21-Day Habit Lie (and the Gurus Who Love It)

Let’s talk about the 21-day habit rule — that golden number that self-help gurus, internet “coaches,� and so-called experts repeat like scripture.

I am sure that you have heard it before:

“It takes 21 days to build a habit!�

They say it with such confidence, as if it’s some scientifically proven law of human behavior, rather than just another convenient marketing slogan designed to sell you their next productivity course.

Here’s the real story:

The �21-day rule� is most commonly attributed to Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon who popularized the idea in his 1960 book, Psycho-Cybernetics.

Maltz noticed that his patients took around 21 days to psychologically adjust to their new appearance after surgery.

And from that, he casually extrapolated: Well, if it takes 21 days for people to get used to a new nose, then surely that’s how long it takes to form any habit, right?

And just like that — without real scientific backing — the �21-day habit� myth was born.

Since then, self-help gurus have clung to it like gospel, repeating it endlessly in books, seminars, and motivational speeches. And when their clients inevitably fail to transform their lives in three weeks?

They don’t blame the faulty advice.

They blame you.

“You’re just not disciplined enough.�
“You don’t want it badly enough.�
“You’re lazy.�
“You’ll never achieve your full potential.�

It’s a convenient way to shift the blame — because if the system works and you’re struggling, then clearly you must be the problem.

Well, here’s the real science:

A study published in the  — not 21. And even that varies widely depending on the person and the habit itself.

So, no, just forcing yourself to do something for three weeks does not magically turn it into a lifelong habit.

If that were true, I would still be:

Running every day (tried it, didn’t last though I did manage to rack up one marathon, twenty-six half marathons and more 5Ks than I can count).Eating vegetarian-only (I did it for 35 years, and stopped).Playing the piano regularly (I was a music major for two years in college and practice was central to my life, now my piano performs as a dust collector).

Clearly, repetition alone doesn’t guarantee lasting change.

And yet, for years, I kept trying to force routines into my life, believing they would magically transform me into the best version of myself.

The INTJ Illusion

For most of my life, people told me I was an INTJ.

And it ³¾²¹»å±ðÌý²õ±ð²Ô²õ±ð.

I am decisive. A shoot first, aim later kind of person. I break things down into logical steps. I seem structured and strategic.

And because of that, I convinced myself I was an INTJ — the “Mastermind� type, known for discipline, planning, and long-term goal execution.

And you know what INTJs love? Routines.

So, naturally, I believed that was the key to my success.

If I could just stick to the plan, I’d finally reach my full potential.

But something never felt quite right.

No matter how hard I tried to lock myself into a structured system, I would always drift. I’d get bored. I’d lose interest.

And every time that happened, I felt like I was failing at being the person I was supposed to be.

Until one day, I stumbled upon an old MBTI assessment I had taken in college. And guess what?

I wasn’t an INTJ.

I was an INTP.

And suddenly, everything ³¾²¹»å±ðÌý²õ±ð²Ô²õ±ð.

INTJ vs. INTP: Why Routine Never Worked for Me

INTJs thrive on structure, planning, and efficiency. They love setting up systems, executing them flawlessly, and refining them over time.

INTPs? Not so much.

Here’s how we differ:

INTJs work methodically every day toward their goals.INTPs work in bursts of obsessive energy, then move on to the next fascinating thing.INTJs create detailed plans and follow them to the letter.INTPs rebel against rigid plans and prefer flexibility.INTJs find security in daily habits.INTPs feel trapped ²ú²âÌý³Ù³ó±ð³¾.

I had been forcing myself into the wrong box for years.

It’s not that I lacked discipline. It’s not that I was lazy.

It’s that I was never meant to live my life by a rigid routine.

The Stephen King Myth

I think of myself as a writer. I wrote this.

Wannabe authors and self-proclaimed life coaches love to repeat the so-called Stephen King rule: “Write every day, even when you don’t feel like it.� (I have no idea if he actually said that, but people love to act like it’s gospel and supposedly Stephen King writes for one hour everyday whether he wants to or not and that’s it. That’s how he writes a book.)

For years, I thought I berated myself because I couldn’t do that.

You see, I believed it.

So I tried. Over and over again, I tried.

And I failed.

No matter how many times I started, no matter how badly I wanted to be “a real writer like Stephen King�� I could never sustain that routine for long. And when I did, the writing that I produced was pathetic. Pathetic.

Here’s the truth: I don’t write every day. Some days, the words don’t come, and I let them be. Here’s the truth: sometimes, weeks pass, and I don’t write at all — no guilt, no shame, just space. And here’s the truth: when the fire finally sparks, I write for ten hours straight, consumed, obsessed, chasing the story until there’s nothing left of me but the words on the page.

And the most profound truth� despite not following the so-called “golden rule� of writing — I’ve published 26 books (so far).

Clearly, I’m doing something right.

Join the Routine Resistance

Let me say it loud and clear:

Routine doesn’t work for everyone.

If you’re constantly struggling to stick to a routine — if you feel more focused on maintaining the habit than actually doing the thing — maybe you’re not meant for routines.

Maybe you’re like me.

Maybe you thrive in bursts of passion and intensity rather than in slow, steady drips.

And if that’s the case, it’s time to stop trying to force yourself into someone else’s mold.

Resist the routine.

Join the Routine Resistance.

Because life doesn’t magically open up when you follow some perfect, external system.

It opens up when you follow the way you’re naturally built to work.

What do you think? Are you part of the resistance?

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