Andre the BFG
There's lots of best things about being a writer. And only one of the following is a lie:
- Not having to dig the sludge out of the bottom of a trench in the freezing rain so the welder can get his head under the fucking pipe to see the weld.
- Sitting next to a roaring fire with a warm tablet on your lap and a hot cat perched on top of your head, sipping Somalian whisky, and telling everyone who calls to leave you alone cos you're working.
- Reviewing books by people you hate.
- Making so much money that you have to get a bigger mattress to hide it all from Her Majesty's tax-nazis.
- Getting paid to review restaurants.
- Writing down your most disgusting or despicable innermost thoughts and pretending that it's fiction.
- Not having to dig the sludge out of the bottom of a trench in the freezing rain so the welder can get his head under the fucking pipe to see the weld.
- Sitting next to a roaring fire with a warm tablet on your lap and a hot cat perched on top of your head, sipping Somalian whisky, and telling everyone who calls to leave you alone cos you're working.
- Reviewing books by people you hate.
- Making so much money that you have to get a bigger mattress to hide it all from Her Majesty's tax-nazis.
- Getting paid to review restaurants.
- Writing down your most disgusting or despicable innermost thoughts and pretending that it's fiction.
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