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The Everwending Story (No word limit)
message 51:
by
Ije the Devourer of Books
(new)
May 30, 2013 06:59AM
Owen decided that after a hearty supper that would be the first number to call
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, only to be frustrated by the lack of pay phones and cell phone coverage.
So he decided that he would write the 12 inch blond Adonis a letter and invite him for tea
Owen was known for putting a foot in his mouth so
He had to think how to word his invitation
and began: "Owen Woe ran to Stowe to fetch a pail of water�" and discovered
"Oh Owen Woe is me!" he exclaimed as his pale dripped and dribbled
So he posted it hoping Blond Adonis would understand the message
But dumb blond Adonis was illiterate and thinking it was junk mail threw it away!
Poor Owen waited ... and waited ... and waited ... doing his high flying act hopeful and patient ...
And then one day surprise!!! He spotted blond Adonis in the audience and took a jump landing in his lap
"Ooof! ! Is that a cannon in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?."
A rather ballsy thing to say even for a human cannon ball.
But Owen didn't care because he was in love with his hot 12" blond Adonis
which was odd because he was never attracted to short men before let alone one that stood only 12 inches (30.5 cm) tall.
" Hey my little Blond Adonis Tom Thumb, I'm too big for your tiny lap!"
"Hey Mister" said the little blond girl. "Why are you talking to my Ken doll? He's Barbie's boyfriend.
" Yes " said his real Adonis petulantly " I'm over here Doofus! Give her the dolly back "
And they laughed in delight and excitement as the fell into each others arms.
The Ken doll was jealous because really Barbie wasn't his type! He would have preferred a Barney!
And everyone looked at the Ken doll in surprise. Who would've thunk that he wanted to get it on with a big purple ... furry?
No, no, no, he wanted a barney, an ignorant dolt of a newbie surfer so that Ken, in his little TYR suit could revert to Malibu Ken and make him pay.
Owen and Adonis went out on a date, staring at each other over a candle lit meal
because they were so <-yawn->bored with each other they couldn't muster a word to say.
besides which, their mouths were stuffed with Mules Mariniere, and the donkeys were braying.
A sweet melody that didn't sound sweet when it was being brayed by silly asses....
So Owen and Adonis just went to bed nerer saying a word.
And the donkeys brayed on, oblivious to the antics of Owen and Adonis
And Owen and Adonis did, um, naked exercises in bed oblivious to the braying of the donkeys.
They did naked squats and thrusts and played with a big exercise ball that they jumped up and down on... What fun!
Actually it look more like Owen Woe was doing push-ups on Adonis who seemed to exercising his legs by holding them high up pointing his curled toes to the ceiling.
I must have been hard work judging from all the groaning, shouting and occasional screams,
How strange thought the donkeys! They wondered why Adonis was sitting on Owens lap when he should have been lying at the side of him snoring not shouting "yes yes! !"
Yes, yes, yes� er, said Adonis, what happened to fifteen words, or has Jayneway changed the temporal displacement field again?
And added, resistance to the rules is fewtle.
Rules? Are there any asked Adonis who at the time was just about to jump off the wardrobe onto Owen.....
That's why I changed them. I'm considering changing them again from 25 to 250 words.
Both Owen and Adonis screamed Holy Cholmeleians!!! Saw stars and entered Roger's temporal displacement field.
Both Owen and Adonis screamed Holy Cholmeleians!!! Saw stars and entered Roger's temporal displacement field.
" Oh no the space time continuum has caused a fissure and we are in danger of causing a paradox which means Adonis may never be born!" Cried Owen woe as he lay prone on the water bed....
>Every time I return to this story, I find the rules have changed! Completely confuddled and 'fuzed (but yea gads do you make me laugh!<The vortex opened right before Adonis arrived any where near Owen, disappearing before Owen's astonished and glazed gaze. Owen sat up slowly and cried out
Will you please turn down the dramatic vortex theme music I'm trying to get some sleep!
"Who can sleep with the vortex music playing?" cried a disembodied voice. "Help me! Someone, please, help me!"
But the vortex swelled inexorably and spewed churlish Cholmeleians throughout the void
causing havoc and leaving a terrible mess in their wake. It was a Cholmeleian reign of terror ....
the likes of which the Universe and Everything had never before witnessed since its meaning was reduced to 42.
Owen followed the disembodied voice and discovered Adonis in the wardrobe under piles of clothes
And came out in a stange snow covered land called Complania ... Where everyone was grumpy and whiney....
…and groany and grungy and trapped in everwending strike-thrus, or "throughs" for the
And the Labour Party pronounced an amnesty throughout Complania so that both Owen and Adonis could pickup where they left off.
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