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"...Turkish Delight's rubbish. To be honest, I'm surprised those kids stayed in Narnia as long as they did. I'd have gone back to the wardrobe and spent the afternoon trying on tops."

"Britain is a proper democracy, yet a third of the population still can't be a*sed to vote so, instead, they exercise their democratic right to moan. Moaning is a bit like voting, except you don't have to go to a primary school and stand in a cupboard to moan. You can do it wherever you want. Which makes it more convenient for people with bad feet or a dog."

I'm going to be really annoying and quote bits! 😁

"The Anglo-Saxons didn't write much down because the Romans took all the pens with them when they left Britain..."